For Sale: One Haunted House.

I got bored, and wrote a poem.

 

For Sale: One Haunted House.

By Ben Myatt


For Sale: One Haunted House.

Two storeys,

One previous owner,

now mostly deceased.


For one careful buyer

This house is an attractive buy

But you may come into conflict

with the current resident.


Current resident is a ghost

Who insists on being addressed

as Lord Montaghue.

Ghost’s actual name is Bob Sanders.


The ghost has stated

That he is okay with children

but not to fond of pets

as they make his ectoplasm itch.


Please do not be deterred

by the spectral wailing

it’s just the ghost

making his usual mischief.


The Spectral Gentleman

insists his corpse is buried in the walls.

Inspection has found no evidence of this.

All health and safety certificates have been issued.


A trial night is available

to see if you like the house,

but mainly to see

if the house likes you.


If interested

Please enquire below,

No TV production crews

or amateur exorcists

Need Apply.

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